Just cant stop thinking...

Not to post even more sad things on here, but cant stop thinking of the last time I saw my Aunt. She was outside near her mailbox as I was leaving Mum's house after lunch & heading back to work, I believe it was in the fall or just heading into winter. She looked healthy & happy & we had a nice conversation.

My sister Debbie just kept repeating that she should have gone up to visit her. We all should have. But even when Christine was sick, they'd say come by, come by.. but then you'd call & they wouldnt call you back or they'd have a reason as to why they couldnt see you- so you didnt want to intrude on anyone if they were having their time alone with the person, or if they just didnt feel so well they werent up for company. But I guess we should have tried harder. We said the same thing when Christine passed away - so why do we repeat the same actions? I sent a card - but its not the same as visiting. Put your fears away & just call. I told my Mother we should just call & plan a day. Then before we go, call & make sure she was up for company. But I didnt press it, she didnt do it, we all let the ball drop and now its too late. We'll never be able speak to her again.

I think my mother might be regretting it as well. She didnt think she'd be able to handle it emotionally seeing Auntie Rosie in the hospital, but she really wanted to go see her. She was planning on going tomorrow. She was very upset when I went home for lunch. And its bothering her that all of my dads family is passing away. Not just sisters & brothers, but wifes & husbands. Rose is an Aunt by marriage, but she's been in the family since the very beginning when all the kids in the family were being married. I forget how long after my parents were married - that they got married.. but she wasnt only my Aunt, she was Debbie's Godmother, as well as mine.

Its sad to see my parents reaction as another person in the family passes. I guess it makes you think of your own mortality. Im sure they must think & be afraid of their own lives. It certaintly makes me think how lucky we are that they are still alive, and I thank God for that just about everyday.